The power of small steps

Who is leading here? (Source: AI generated)

Or how my 9-year-old son taught me with 45 to swim again.

Spring 2022, my youngest son, 6 years old, fails the basic swimming test, called "Seepferdchen" in Germany, despite seven months of training; he's too afraid to dive. His swimming technique is good, but he lacks endurance. Everyone has their own pace, I tell myself.

In the fall of 2023, he seems ready, and the swimming instructor spontaneously gives him the test. Because we've already swum a few laps and he's excited, he almost runs out of energy on the last few meters; a brief scare, but it's enough. Relief. 

He's so proud, and I'm proud too - secretly wiping away a tear.

Motivated, we go back the next day. What happens is unbelievable. He doesn't dare jump into the pool or swim. I become impatient, increasing his uncertainty. We stop and go to the kiddie pool. From "Seepferdchen" back to a non-swimmer again...

Eight weeks later, he swims with his grandmother, and it works. My feeling is confirmed: the reason was me. I had transferred my impatience to him, setting expectations too high without providing security through achievable intermediate goals. The basic swimming badge requires swimming 25 meters, diving briefly, and explaining pool rules - but you're not yet a confident "swimmer." Classic leadership fail, isn't it?

Summer 2024, we're camping by a lake, the boys almost 9 and 11 years old. Overconfident, they want to swim 400 meters to the other shore and back. 

Damn, I'm 45, at the peak of my unfitness with a few extra pounds, and I don't trust myself to accompany them or rescue them if needed. 

Lazy but solution-oriented, I take my SUP and spread confidence that nothing will happen. And guess what? Both swim over 400 meters there and back - without any problems. 

Wow - proud again, of both. Two more tears.

I think back to 2023, and my second mistake becomes clear: As the "project leader", I had no trust in my own swimming capabilities, justified after a post-Covid phase. 

"Dad, when are we swimming together again?" Oh shit...

Call for action - since that question, we've been swimming every week, very calmly, step by step, growing together.

Fall 2024, both boys still outswim me, hopefully forever - but yesterday I managed my first 1000 meters in 31 minutes, a milestone for me (vs. me). 

Seeing others grow, accompanying them, and growing myself. Win-win.

This confidence helps me in the founding phase of my self-employment as well as in my professional projects. 

We go step by step together, even if we can't always see the path directly. Because I know that we develop further and it will be good in the end. Trust in our abilities is much more important than knowledge to success.

Thanks to my boys for the leadership lesson, our discipline and the belief in the p͟o͟w͟e͟r͟ ͟o͟f͟ ͟s͟m͟a͟l͟l͟,͟ ͟s͟t͟e͟a͟d͟y͟ ͟s͟t͟e͟p͟s͟.͟